August 6, 2010

Birthday Sadness

This weekend is my daughter's birthday. She is very excited and we have a full weekend fun things to do as a family. But I continue to sit here in sadness.

You see it is 7am in Vietnam. Shortly I would expect her birth mother will be getting up and starting her day. Not many around her will be aware that this is the day she gave birth and prepared to say goodbye to her newly born daughter. I cannot help to wonder how those few days where in the hospital. I wonder if she knew she would be adopted by an American.

I wish that I could tell her all about our daughter and how wonderful she is. I wish I could show her how beautiful she is, how funny she is and how incredibly determined she is. If I could only share those things with her then I would have some hope that she can come to some sort of peace with her decision. But I find complete sadness that I cannot share these things with her.

My daughter is too young to understand these things, but at some point I would expect my daughter will also experience this sadness around her birthday.